you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
