its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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