from now on my penis is your penis
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
