I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
