you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
this just has baby written all over it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
