Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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