I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Dear god my vagina.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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