office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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