Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
