I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
