sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
