I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
