You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
