While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
