awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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