I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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