gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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