we have pet lesbian snakes
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
