...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
