So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
