wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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