so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
