It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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