remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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