Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The air was thick with penises
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
