You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
