the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
