3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
