I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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