How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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