how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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