I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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