Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
