after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
