i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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