Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
