she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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