Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
