miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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