Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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