There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I intend to get homeless drunk
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
