No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
