I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Randomize
