ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
