So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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