i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
