Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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