is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
sex in a hospital.. check
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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