You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
