Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
