dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
