i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
