we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
