I am puke
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you didnt know i had herpes?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
